Funerals are deeply personal occasions that provide a space for mourning, reflection, and remembrance. Poetry has long played a significant role in UK funeral services, offering comfort and expressing emotions that can be difficult to articulate during times of grief.
Many funeral poems have stood the test of time, providing solace to those left behind while honouring the lives of the departed. Whether religious, reflective, or uplifting, these carefully chosen words can bring peace to those who gather to say goodbye. Below, we explore some of the most popular funeral poems in the UK, their meanings, and why they resonate so deeply.
1. "Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep" – Mary Elizabeth Frye
This iconic poem is one of the most frequently read at funerals in the UK. Its reassuring message offers comfort by suggesting that the departed remain present in the natural world around us.
"Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there; I do not sleep."
The poem’s imagery—of the deceased becoming the wind, the sunlight, and the rain—provides a sense of eternal presence, helping mourners find solace in nature and the ongoing cycle of life.
2. "Funeral Blues" – W.H. Auden
Popularised by the film Four Weddings and a Funeral, Auden’s poem encapsulates the overwhelming grief of losing a loved one. Its poignant and dramatic opening lines set a somber tone:
"Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum,
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come."
This poem resonates deeply with those who feel that their world has changed irreversibly following a loss.
3. "Epitaph on a Friend" – Robert Burns
Scottish poet Robert Burns captures the essence of a well-lived life in this heartfelt epitaph. It celebrates honesty, virtue, and the enduring memory of a good friend:
"An honest man here lies at rest,
The friend of man, the friend of truth,
The friend of age, and guide of youth."
Its uplifting tone makes it a popular choice for funeral services, offering a sense of admiration and peace.
4. "She Is Gone" – David Harkins
A modern funeral favourite, She Is Gone (sometimes attributed to an anonymous source) provides a choice between mourning and celebrating the deceased’s life:
"You can shed tears that she is gone,
Or you can smile because she has lived."
This poem reminds us that while grief is natural, it is also important to cherish the joyful moments shared with the loved one who has passed.
5. "Crossing the Bar" – Alfred, Lord Tennyson
A classic choice for religious or spiritual funerals, this poem uses the metaphor of the sea to describe the journey from life to death:
"Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea."
Tennyson’s words offer a peaceful perspective on passing, making it a comforting choice for those who believe in an afterlife.
6. "If I Should Go" – Joyce Grenfell
This gentle and uplifting poem encourages the bereaved to remember their loved one with fondness and positivity:
"If I should go before the rest of you,
Break not a flower nor inscribe a stone,
Nor when I’m gone speak in a Sunday voice,
But be the usual selves that I have known."
It offers a tender reminder that life should continue, honouring the memory of the deceased through joyful remembrance rather than sorrowful mourning.
7. "Remember Me" – Christina Rossetti
This Victorian-era poem reflects on love and memory, urging mourners to remember the deceased with warmth rather than sadness:
"Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land."
Its themes of love and remembrance make it a meaningful choice for those seeking comfort in poetry.
The Power of Poetry in Funerals
Poetry has the ability to encapsulate emotions, offering words that might be difficult to express in the moment. Many people find solace in these verses, which allow them to process their grief while also celebrating the life of the departed.
If you are planning a funeral and searching for the right poem, consider one that resonates with your emotions and reflects the personality or beliefs of your loved one. Whether you seek comfort, inspiration, or a simple tribute, these poems can help create a meaningful farewell.
To keep your chosen funeral poem safe, you can use The Farewell Guide’s secure document vault to store your selections for future reference.
You may find these articles helpful:
How can books help through grief?
Arranging a funeral: How to write a heartfelt eulogy
What are popular funeral songs when arranging a funeral?
What important documents should I include in my funeral plan?