Arranging A Funeral: How To Write A Eulogy
When you lose a loved one, you may face a wide range of difficult emotions, so arranging a funeral and writing a eulogy can seem like an impossible task.
What is a eulogy?
A eulogy is a beautiful funeral speech that allows you to offer a fitting tribute to your loved one in your own words. Finding the right words at first may be challenging, but the key is to be honest and authentic to your relationship with your loved one — the words will soon follow.
We’ve put together this post to help you write a eulogy that truly celebrates your loved one and captures the essence of their life with compassion and sensitivity. Some areas to consider help you build up your speech that we go through;
- Your relationship with your loved on
- The introduction
- Anecdotes
- Life Moments and Achievements
- Ending with meaning
- It’s OK to cry
- What should you not say in a eulogy
- Other tips when writing a eulogy
1. Reflecting On Your Relationship With Your Loved One
Before you begin to write a eulogy, it’s a good idea to take some time to reflect on your relationship with your loved one.
You could note down all the beautiful, funny or moving memories that you have shared and elaborate on what made them special. This is a great way to show the impact that your loved one had on your life. Friends and family will have a wealth of memories too they may want to share for you to include.
2. Starting Your Eulogy
You could begin your eulogy with an introduction to your loved one, which will help you set the tone for the rest of your funeral speech. Now, some people find this part of the speech the hardest, so try to make it light if you can.
If your voice breaks or you start to get emotional while you’re reading the eulogy, don’t worry. It’s totally normal, and you’re only human. If you want to, you could ask a friend or family member to stand with you for moral support.
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3. Including Anecdotes
One of the best ways to honour your loved one in your eulogy is to share those personal stories that made your relationship so special and meaningful. If you can, try to think of the funny things, the inspiring moments, and the unique experiences you shared that made your loved one so special to you.
It’s very easy to ramble when we are put under pressure, especially with all the emotions of grief to , so if you need to pause and take a minute, that’s absolutely fine - have a tissue or two handy.
Our free funeral planner provides a dedicated area for you to store all the personal memories, photos and stories that you share with your loved one, so they’re all in one place when it comes time for you to write a eulogy.
4. Life Moments and Achievements
How about including the key moments from your loved one’s life, that they would be pleased and proud to have talked about? Did they do well at a particular sport, or really enjoy gardening and growing an amazing display of flowers? May be they worked hard in the community or at a business? People from across these areas of your loved one’s life will be with you, honouring the deceased when you read your eulogy. Mentioning these important part’s of their life will help everyone at the service feel a part of the day.
5. Ending With Meaning
When you write a eulogy, some people find it difficult to come up with a good conclusion to their funeral speech.
Try not to overthink this part; sometimes, it’s more meaningful to finish your eulogy by expressing gratitude and love for the person who passed away. If you’re able to write from the heart, you’ll likely be able to find your meaningful ending as you work through writing your speech.
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6. It's OK not to be OK
When delivering a funeral speech, it's natural to feel overwhelmed with emotions. You don't have to be strong all the time, and it's perfectly fine to feel vulnerable. Emotions are a beautiful expression of love and a genuine way to honour your loved ones.
Take all the time you need to compose yourself, take a deep breath, and gather your thoughts. Remember, this is a moment to honour the memory of someone dear to you, and it's okay to let your emotions flow freely.
If you have been given the honour of delivering a eulogy at a loved one’s funeral, you can use our free funeral planner to store your eulogy and take comfort in knowing that you're not alone, and we're here to support you during this difficult time.
7. What Not to Say in a Eulogy
In a eulogy, there are some things that you should avoid mentioning. For example, the person's cause of death, past conflicts or disagreements, personal shortcomings, family disputes, or any negative recollections.
8. Other Tips When Writing a Eulogy
- Structure the eulogy with a beginning, middle and conclusion.
- Time the eulogy to make sure that it doesn't run over.
- Practise, you don't need to know the eugoly by heart but it may help you feel more confident on the day.
- Reach out to close friends or family to help with the eulogy and share ideas.
- Remember to introduce yourself, not all mourners may know you, it is also may help to thank everyone for attending as a way to start the eulogy.