Navigating Mother's Day for Bereaved Mothers

March 2025

Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate mothers with gifts, cards, and family moments. But for bereaved mothers, those who have lost a child—this day can be filled with complex emotions. While others may be celebrating their children, bereaved mothers often experience deep sadness, longing, and grief. In this blog, we’ll explore how bereaved mothers can cope with Mother’s Day, how to support them, and ways to honour their child’s memory.

The Complexity of Grief

Grief is a personal journey, and for mothers who have lost a child, it can feel overwhelming and unending. On Mother’s Day, this grief can be particularly hard to manage. While the world around them celebrates motherhood, a bereaved mother may feel the painful absence of her child even more deeply.

It’s important to remember that grief doesn’t follow a set path. For many, grief can come in waves of sadness, anger, guilt, or even numbness. Bereaved mothers may feel a sense of longing for the memories they will never make with their child. At the same time, they may feel gratitude for the time they did have together, no matter how brief.

Acknowledging the Pain of Loss

While society celebrates Mother’s Day with joy, it can feel like an overwhelming reminder of loss for bereaved mothers. This day often highlights the absence of a child, making the pain feel more acute. Unfortunately, there isn’t always public recognition of this grief. But it’s essential to remember that a mother’s bond with her child doesn’t end with death. Their love is still real, even if their child is no longer physically present.

Support organisations like The Compassionate Friends and SANDS (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society) are there for bereaved parents, offering resources, support groups, and a community of people who understand the complexities of grief. These organisations can provide an important space for mothers to connect with others who have similar experiences.

Coping Strategies for Bereaved Mothers

Mother’s Day may not be a day for celebration for those who have lost a child. It’s okay to take a step back from the festivities and do what feels best for you. Here are some ways to help cope with the day:

Allow Yourself to Grieve: There’s no right or wrong way to feel on Mother’s Day. It’s okay to cry, reminisce, or even stay in bed if that’s what feels right. Grief is different for everyone, and it’s important to honour your emotions.
Create a Personal Ritual: Some mothers find comfort in creating their own tradition on Mother’s Day. This might be lighting a candle for their child, visiting their grave, or spending time reflecting on happy memories. A ritual can help create a sense of connection to the child and provide a moment of remembrance.
Spend Time with Supportive People: If you want company, seek out friends or family who acknowledge your grief and are there to support you. It’s okay to ask for what you need, whether that means having someone nearby or needing time alone.
Honour Your Child’s Memory: If it feels right, do something special in memory of your child. This could be donating to charity, planting a tree, or simply writing a letter to your child. Small acts of remembrance can offer comfort.
Seek Professional Support: Sometimes, talking to a therapist or grief counsellor can help you work through complex feelings. It’s important to know that seeking support is a healthy and valuable way to cope with grief.
Take Care of Yourself: During difficult times, it’s easy to neglect your physical and mental health. Take small steps to care for yourself, whether it’s taking a walk, enjoying a hot bath, or eating nourishing food. Looking after yourself is essential for emotional healing.

How to Support Bereaved Mothers on Mother’s Day

If you have a friend or family member who has lost a child, you may wonder how you can support them during Mother’s Day. Here are some ways to show you care:

Acknowledge the Loss: Sometimes, people avoid talking about the loss, fearing it may cause more sadness. However, acknowledging the pain of the loss with a simple message like, "I’m thinking of you today," can be comforting.
Avoid Clichés: It’s natural to want to comfort a grieving mother, but phrases like “She’s in a better place” or “At least you have other children” can feel dismissive. Instead, acknowledge their grief and let them express their feelings without judgment.
Offer Practical Help: Grieving mothers may find it hard to manage day-to-day tasks. Offer to help with practical things, like preparing meals or running errands, to ease their burden.
Respect Their Wishes: Every mother grieves differently. Some may want to spend the day alone, while others may want to be surrounded by loved ones. Ask how they would like to spend the day and respect their wishes.
Offer Ongoing Support: Grief doesn’t end after Mother’s Day, and many mothers feel the pain long after the day has passed. Continue to check in and offer support in the weeks and months following the loss.

Conclusion: Embracing the Complexity of Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day can be a day of mixed emotions for bereaved mothers. While the world celebrates the joy of motherhood, those who have lost a child may feel the pain of their absence more strongly. It’s important to remember that there is no right way to feel on this day, and it’s okay to grieve in your own way.

Above all, bereaved mothers are still mothers. Their love for their child continues, even though their child is no longer physically with them. Mother’s Day is an opportunity to honour that love, no matter how complicated the day may feel. Whether through personal rituals, seeking support, or simply giving yourself permission to grieve, remember that your feelings are valid, and you are not alone.

Mother’s Day is for all mothers—whether their children are with them or not. The love a mother has for her child never fades, and that love deserves to be recognised, celebrated, and honoured, even through the pain.